011

Kit got up in the middle of Miss Herman’s speech and walked to the door.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“Out,” said Kit and she pointed upwards as soon as she did it the bell rang.
“How did-?”

“There’s no ‘team’ in ‘I’,” said Kit.
“Isn’t that there’s no ‘I’ in ‘team’?” asked Ally.
“Not the way I use it.”

“Did you miss me?”

“I’m great, yet I am humble.”

Bang, it was just sound. But it can change a whole life. Bang, can be the last sound a person can hear. It was almost the last sound Kit Thompson would ever hear.

“You’re a vampire, you’re life is much easier than mine.”
“Want to bet? Do you have any idea of what it’s like? Other demons are always pressuring me to destroy the world or something. Then there are all the vampire hunters like you always trying to kill me. Then there’s the immortal thing, which gets old really fast. Plus I can’t get tan anymore and I get serious blood cravings some days. And do you have any idea how long it takes to clean these fangs?”

“Sometimes it seems like life would be so much easier if I just stopped caring.”

“Touch me and pull back a bloody stub.”

“If you ever try to do this again I will do to your spine what I just did to your front door.” He looked at his door, which was lying in splinters on the floor, and then back at Kit, who was smiling creepily.

“Everyone has nightmares even the monsters,” said Kit.
“What do monsters have nightmares about?”
“Me.”

“It was a minor infraction.”
“You blew up ten city blocks!”

“Life sucks, then you die and then it sucks some more.”

“She scares me.”
~ Justin Case.

“Leave me alone or I’ll rip off all of your appendages starting with your shortest, understood?” He looked down and swallowed hard.

010

“Did you just growl at me?”
“Maybe.”

“There are voices in my head.”

“You don’t want to know.”

“I’ve been blown up, stabbed, hung, set on fire, shot, shot by arrows, cursed with eternal torment, died, gone crazy, tortured, bludgeoned, hit by a car, drowned and I have even been electrocuted and this is a good day.”

“One of my most disturbing memories is picking up my own body, carrying it away and then burying it. Let’s just say I was having a strange day.”

“Hey you! The drama-king, freak of nature, son-of-a-bitch!” shouted Kit. The man stopped and turned around to look at her.
“Where’d a four year old girl learn those words?” asked the man.
“First off, I ain’t four.”
“Then how old are you?”
“Eighteen.”
“Sure.”
“I sent my consciousness back in time to my four year old body to talk to you.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes, so shut the hell up and listen.”

“That’s so cool.”

“Well, what would you’ve done?”
“For starters, not blow him up.”

“Do you have a plan?”
“I’m working on it.”
“Oh dear god, we’re all going to die.”

“You’re not very smart are you?”

“You wanted to pick his brains,” said Kit as she picked up the sword.
“Not off the ground.”

“Don’t die,” said Kit, “I’m not in the mood to clean up your guts.”

“Why save me, Kit? Why?” asked Sarah.
“Meun tu amatore sibi,” said Kit, “For you are precious to me.”

“Don’t be so dramatic!” yelled Kit after her and she fainted, “Perfect.”

009

“Chivalry is dead, thank god.”

“I blew his brain out the back of his skull with my hand.”

“I am surrounded by idiots.”

“I hate you.”
“I know.”

“The path of Darkness is the fastest way to power.”
“That may be true yet those who travel too fast will surely trip and fall flat on their faces. And so I’ll be there, sticking my foot out and laughing.”

“You set your school on fire?” asked Principal Hurston.
“No, only the gym,” protested Kit and she stood up to look at the file and he showed where he saw the description, “Oh, right. That time the entire school went up in flames.” She sat back down as he began to read her record.
“Vandalism, breaking curfew, breaking and entering, parole violations, obstruction of justice, kidnapping, hacking, theft, grand theft auto, resisting arrest, under age gambling, assault with a deadly weapon, assault, assaulting a teacher, assaulting a police officer, possession of a controlled substance, possession of cigarettes, under age drinking, fighting, arson and you even been accused of murder?”

“I’m okay, thanks for asking.”

“The way I see it you’re either A - nuts, B - lost your mind, C - crazy, D-deranged, E - insane, F - wacko, G - no longer in possession of your sanity or H - all of the above!”
“So are you going to help or not?”
“Of course I’m going to help.”

“I got my first spell book when I was four; it was ‘Basic Elemental Spells for Beginning Mages.’ I stole it from the library.”

“My worst memory, let’s see, oh yeah, that time I died wasn’t fun.”

“Guaranteed to solve every minor problem by turning it into a major disaster.”

“There are many paths that lead to the same end.”
“Just so you know, you sound like a fortune cookie.”

“Did you hear that?”
“Hear what?” It came again.
“That?”
“What?”
“Oh great, that’s just perfect.”

008

“Note to self: Do not block flying headstones with my ankle.”

“By the way I am thee Kit Thompson,” said Kit and the girl fainted, “And that never gets old.”

“The only time people hang around with me is to make their problems seem smaller. It’s really hard to complain about a C- when the person you’re talking to is dodging fire balls for her life, yet amazingly some can do it.”

“You know you’ve been in this business too long when someone comes up to you screaming, ‘It’s the end of the world!’ and your response is to yawn and ask very calmly and nonchalantly, ‘Again?’”

“Let’s put it this way, there are a lot of people who wouldn’t mind seeing my entrails ripped out.”

“I see dumb people.”

“What’s going on, Kit?” asked Coop.
“What’s going on, Kit?” asked Kit in a mocking, deep voice, “What no, ‘Hello, Kit,’ no, ‘How are you, Kit?’ no, ‘How’s your life turned out, Kit?’? I’ve been gone for six years and all you can say is ‘What’s going on Kit?’?”
“Well clearly you’re still mental.”
“Little bit.”

“Oh, shit-.”

“I was all ‘ooh!’ and you were all ‘eek!’ and he was all ‘ow!’ and they were all ‘woo!’ and then I was like ‘dude!’.”
“What?”

“Uhsherkatilonku?”
“Say that again in English.”

“Would you believe that it was an accident?

“Oh man, I got shot, again.”

“Everyone has problems,” said Kit, “Mine just got collected together and formed their own entity and terrorized a whole other planet for twelve years.”

“How many times do I have to threaten your life on a daily basis?

“So this is my army of superheroes, our last line of defense?” asked Kit as the chaos spread, “The universe is doomed.”

007

“That’s a really big fire.”

Mr. Harrison droned on and Kit just couldn’t pay attention. She felt so distracted today. She stared out the window and just zoned out. Suddenly she stood up and knocked her books to the ground.
“Kit Thompson!” yelled Mr. Harrison but she paid no attention. Her eyes were blank as she stared out the window.
“It’s time,” said Kit, “That smell.” She turned and opened the window.
“Kit, you psycho!” yelled Kara, “Shut that window, it’s freezing.”
“That smell,” said Sarah and she too stood up. They both jumped out the window.
“KIT!” yelled Kent. Kit grabbed Sarah’s hand and ran out into the grass. Then it began to snow. For what seemed like no reason they began to dance. When Kent asked her about it later all she said was: “I just love the snow and that first snow smell.”

“It’s a plan in progress.”

“Kit was trying desperately to stay conscious. She was battling a foe truly worthy of her strength, power and mind. She was not sure that she could win this time; she could barely keep her head up. It was time for the crushing the blow. She readied herself for-,” said Kit and she raised her arms like she was in a fight.
“Miss Thompson,” said Mr. Bennett, her Chemistry teacher, “Please stop telling stories in my classroom.”
“I am not telling a story, Mr. Bennett,” said Kit, “I’m narrating my life.”
“Narrating?” asked Mr. Bennett.
“Yeah,” said Kit, “Chemistry, the ultimate enemy. No mortal can stay awake while any teacher, especially Mr. Bennett, drowns on about the worst subject in the universe in a monotonous tone.”

“I hate to say ‘I told you so’ but-.”
“Well if you hate it don’t say it.”
“I TOLD YOU SO! They’re evil!”
“You say everything’s evil.”
“And I’m always right.”

“Out of sight, out of mind.”

“Everybody has demons,” said Kit, “Mine just happened to have the corporeal bodies, the super powers, the vendettas and the evil end of the world plans.”

“It’s not illegal until you get caught.”

“Scream, run, hide is a very legitimate plan.”

“When it was all said and done I learned one thing. There is no such thing as a happily ever after and only for the lucky is there even an after.”

006

“Kit,” said Rachel, “Strangling your comrades is not the best idea.”

“We’re under attack,” said Kit.
“By what?” asked Leon.
“Evil monkeys and lots of them.”
“What?”
“Monkeys!”

“Dude!” yelled Kit, “You’re like Dracula!”
“Yes,” said Dracula.
“Like THEE Dracula!”
“Yes.”
“THEE!”
“Yes.”
“Dude!”
“Yes.”
“Why are you here?”
“To see you.”
“No way!”
“Yes.”
“Totally cool!”
“It would appear so.”
“This is beyond amazing!”
“Apparently.”
“So cool!”
“Please stop doing that.”

“So how did your psych eval go?” asked Leon.
“Well, apparently I have a martyr complex and issues with ‘Anger’ and ‘Trust’ and ‘Authority’ and ‘Listening’,” said Kit while making sarcastic air-quotes, “And I don’t know I wasn’t really paying attention after she said I have a superiority complex.”

“I was thinking a spring wedding,” said Kara and she waved her hands in the air, “Oh and with doves.”
“Yeah, doves!” said Ally, “What about you, Kit?” The whole room went silent. Kit and weddings would be an interesting topic.
“Well I was thinking,” said Kit as she mimicked Kara’s hand movements, “That you’re all nuts.” Kent let out a small sigh and Kit hit him on the shoulder. They both smiled and laughed silently.

“I live in the world of the six D’s: ‘Dead’, ‘Dark’, ‘Demonic’, ‘Damned’, ‘Disturbed’ and ‘Destructive’. That is my world.”

“Do you have a plan?”
“Does running count as a plan?”

005

“Oh, that can’t be good.”

“Once upon a time there was a girl named Kit who just couldn’t quite forget that there was a once upon a time.”
~ Sarah Watson

“Mission successful,” said Jane, “Over.”
“Good,” said Kit and she put down the radio.
“You didn’t say ‘over’,” said Kevin.
“I know,” said Kit with a smile, “And it’s going to bug her for the rest of the day.”

“Kit Thompson! What did you do?”
“Why do you automatically assume it was something I did?” asked Kit and he glared at her, “There might have been a small explosion.”

“Jimmy, you pervert, leave her alone!”

“John, if you enter my mind again I will obliterate your consciousness.”

“Please, stop talking, now.”

“I remember this time she blew up a solar system.”
“It was uninhabited!”

The TV blinked and hummed as the video started.
“Hello, my name is Tyler Mitchell and my friends and I have just traveled back in time five thousand years,” said the Tape-Tyler as the Tyler in the room took off his glasses, “Oh right, Lizzy, you next.”
“Hi,” said the Tape-Lizzy as she appeared on screen, “I’m Elizabeth Myers and we’re part of a secret magical organization with in the law firm of Goldman and Trent. Our team is called the Time Travel Trio. This is our fearless leader Kit Thompson.” The camera turned to show Kit. The Kit in the room opened her mouth and promptly fell over.
“Did our fearless leader just faint?” asked the Lizzy in the room.

“In all of the books I’ve read about the Monkey King,” said Jimmy, “They never mentioned anything about memory loss.”
“Shut up, Jimmy.”

“Here’s some advice,” said Kit, “If you want to live and you see me running I suggest that you keep up.”

“It wasn’t exactly my fault that the dinosaurs got whipped out.”

“That blur looked strangely familiar.”
~ Sam Williams